Wednesday, 8 May 2013

So this is me.......

Firstly, hello and thanks for reading my blog. My name is Emma and I am single mum to two gorgeous girls, IK and CJ. I have decided to start this blog to share the life, love and laughter of my life as a single mum.  Being a mum is with out doubt the most wonderful, amazing, rewarding, emotional, demanding, confusing and stressful journey any of us will undertake, and making that journey alone is a scary thing. So I thought I’d share a bit of what goes on in our life, if for no other reason, so one day my girls can look back on this amazing journey I’m privileged enough to be making with them.

So how did I end up here? Well the truth is I’m not sure, this time last year I was living a very different, very nice, life. I had a husband, a house, a dog, a part time job and of course my two gorgeous girls. I was living in Essex and had lots of lovely mummy friends. I’m sure any parent reading this can identify with the stress and strain of juggling two small children, work and a marriage, but I thought we were doing ok. Boy was I wrong! And that’s why 5 days after CJ’s first birthday my husband decided that I wasn’t what he wanted anymore and left and my nice little life came crashing down.

Looking back at those first few days I don’t know how I survived them. My sense of loss was immense and I thought it would engulf me. It all felt so unfair, why did this have to happen to me? What had I done wrong? Was I such a bad wife? Was I such a bad person? My mum got me through those awful few days, and looking back now I see our job as a mother is never finished, our children will always need us, in different ways. My mum and dad are amazing by the way, but I think more on them in another post. So 10 months on much is different in my life. The girls of course are still gorgeous, growing so quickly, changing and becoming their own people. But we live in Lincolnshire now, minus the husband, the dog, the job and the thing I miss most, my mummy friends. But I am finding that even though this isn’t the life I planned, I still loving it. Being a single mum is hard work, stressful and can be very lonely, but I wouldn’t change it, and I am determined to make a great life for us all, after all happiness isn’t the destination, it’s a way of travelling.

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