‘Time
heals all’ You would not believe how many time I have been told that, but it is
actually true. I have begun to feel as thought my broken heart was on the mend,
and after going to the cinema, out to lunch and even the pub alone I thought
maybe it was time for someone new in my life. But being a single mum living in
a new area my options for getting out and about to meet a potential new chap
were some what limited. A very good friend suggested I try on line dating and
my first thoughts were ‘Its so sad’ and ‘I’ll
probably be kidnapped my some crazy person’ But apparently 1 in 3 relationships
now start on line and my social life of baby groups and mum’s meet ups weren’t likely
to have much potential dating wise, so I signed myself up. I filled
in the ‘application form’ and the worse bit, wrote a profile! The idea is to
sell yourself, so where to start? Singe mum, not currently working, a bit lonely
and self esteem knocked after divorce, body in working order but a bit shabby
after two babies? Probably not the way to go! So I focused on the more
positive, only lied a little bit and wrote a slightly cringe worthy few lines about
myself, found a few recent pictures and off I went.
Much
to my surprise I actually started to get some messages. There was the 18 year
old, the Meatloaf lookalike, the guy who said he was 40, but looked more like
50. There was the one who looked like his picture was taken 10 years ago, the guy
who said he only did drugs at the weekend, the ‘chef’ who worked in a kebab
shop and the bin man who’s profile said he was an eternal pessimist (quick
where do I sign up). There were a fair few who just wanted to find someone to
‘share there life wiv’ (now my spelling isn’t great but come on!) Someone who was
looking for ‘discreet’ fun (aka he had a wife or girlfriend or both!) and then,
my personal favourite, the one who offered to dress me in rubber and restrain
me! (And yes that was an opening message!!). And you simply would not believe
the amount of men who like to go to the gym and are looking for someone to
treat like a princess!! Yes I received messages alright but pickings seemed
slim!
But
against the odds I did meet someone, he was what I was looking for, cute,
funny, caring and he had an interesting job. He reminded me how lovely it is
when you meet someone who you have a genuine connection with, and how much fun
a new relationship can be. However, dating is complicated and I’m out of practice!
With careers, children and enough emotional baggage between us to keep Heathrow
busy, it was not meant to be. It also made me realise how easy it is to get
hurt again, once you let you guard down and start to let someone in, you have
to trust them. Not easy when you’ve been so hurt in the past.
So
there is no ‘Cinderella’ style happy ending to this particular story. But
actually that’s ok because I realised I don’t need rescuing. After 9 years in a
relationship I’m enjoying time on my own and I’m finally ok with being single.
Yes, sometimes it can be lonely, but there are lots of great things about it
just being me. I can do things I want to do, make decisions based on what is best for me and the girls
and what we want and I never have to watch sport!
So,
would I try online dating again, maybe, Am I in a rush to find a new
relationship? No. But hey, should a handsome, funny, caring man come into my
life and want to take me out for a drink, I’d be ok with that ;)
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