Well
it has been a while since my last post and that is because quite frankly life
has got away from me a bit.
Working
– Just in case you were wondering I didn’t take my own mug and I opted for a
skirt and smart white top. It is so far so good. My first week was great, I got
to meet lots of new people, drink lots of tea and drive a golf buggy. The
second week was when the work started coming in, and it’s a good job I like to
be busy because I think I will be. It has been more tiring than I thought, even
though I am only working part time, and it is safe to say the housework and
laundry have been slightly out of control, but if something has to give, I’m
happy for it to be that!
Weddings
– There is something quite surreal about attending a wedding with your ex
husband. I will explain a bit more. One of the ex’s friends from school got
married last week and it is someone I have know since before I even got
together with the ex (a mutual friend thing that is too complicated to go
into). So I was really touched when the girls and I were still invited to the
wedding, despite having divorced his friend. We came to the mutual decision not
to take the girls (small children + wedding = no fun for mummy). The wedding
was beautiful and full of little individual touches that really showed the
couple personality, my favourite was the song that was played during the
signing of the register Stevie Wonder’s Signed Sealed Delivered (I’m yours),
very cute.
The
champagne and wine flowed, the food was lovely, there was much dancing and lots
of fun had. But being at a wedding with the person whom you made those,
supposed binding vows with was strange. It wasn’t awkward and we didn’t argue,
it was just weird thinking how I’d felt the day we had got married and how it
had ended. With him being so physically close, and yet our lives are now so far
apart. There was a funny moment however when we were stood outside the
reception having a chat about the girls and some mutual friends when a friend
did a casual walk by, I think at the insistence of his wife, to make sure we
were busy killing each other! It has been hard at times, to preserve our
amicable relationship, and I know that it isn’t always possible; divorce is a painful
and at times traumatic process that brings with it a lot of anger and
resentment. But it has definitely been worth the effort, after all, we have at
least 16 years of parenting our girls to do!
Feeling,
well, Rubbish – The thing I hate most happened this weekend, D&V hit our
house. It started with CJ and meant our plans for a weekend away visiting
friend were out the window. After being up most of the night being sick she
seemed ok, if tired. My mum took IK out for lunch then to play at hers so me and
CJ could catch up on some much needed rest. Now I have more reasons than most
to hate it when either me or the girls get sick, you see I used to suffer with
emetophobia (a fear of vomit) It is a this point that many of you may laugh,
but trust me when I say this fear, like many other, was debilitating and at
times ruled my life. I would avoid any situation where I could potentially get
trapped with someone being sick (train rides, limo rides, hotel stays etc) and
I missed many birthday and hen nights. In fact it reached crisis point when IK
got a tummy bug (and so did the ex) when she was about two. I was a nervous
wreck and wanted to run away and leave them both. Not the caring, loving mummy
reaction I would hope for. So I invested in a self hypnosis course specifically
designed for emetophobia and whilst I felt generally calmer and stopped (almost
completely) avoiding potentially sicky situations, I had not yet had to deal
with either the girls or myself being ill (the last bout of D&V happened on
daddy’s watch). So when I was calmly dealing with CJ and the unavoidable
clearing up job, I did feel a bit of pride in how far I had come and that
actually I was only concerned with getting her cleaned up and comforting her,
much more the mummy reaction I would hope for. But it was inevitable I suppose
that it would not stop with CJ, thankful it was after the girls had been
collected by their Dad that the symptoms finally got the better of me and it
was my mum who then stepped in. She bought me round some fizzy water and made
sure I drank plenty and it was her soup that finally made me feel a bit better
when my appetite returned a bit.
So,
touch wood and fingers crossed, we are all ok, because this week is the big
one, IK is starting School………
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