That
time has crept up on me again. Some how CJ is now two and the signs are were
there that she is ready give knickers a go. Over the last few weeks I’ve come
up with a few reasons to delay it, holidays, day trips, parties but mostly it
was just that I wasn’t ready. You see I’m not very good with mess in general
and potty training is the ultimate in mess management. But I didn’t want to
miss the window of opportunity, so I decided that when they came home from
their last visit with their Dad we would get straight on with it. So on Friday
we were in through the door, the nappy was off and the knickers were on.
There
is a plethora of advice / theories / strategies on potty training. Pull up
nappies, books, reward charts, stickers, fancy singing potties and who knows
what else. All designed to make the process easier, or if you’re a bit cynical,
to make you part with a bit more money. And with IK, we went for it in a big
way! In fact I got myself into a right kerfuffle with the whole business ‘Was
she ready?’ ‘What if she poo’d whilst we were in Morrisons?’ ‘How would I
possibly manage the torrent of wee and poo that was about to surge from this
small child’
So
I turned to a good friend with two slightly older children for advice. She told
me the best thing she had done with her second was to wait till he was really ready
and could recognise the feeling of need to go, without her having to constantly
remind him. It had made the whole process quicker, less messy and less
stressful all round. Her words were wise and meant I decided to leave in IK in
nappies for a while longer. So when 4 months later she asked me if she could
wear knickers instead of nappies because the other girls at nursery did, she
went dry straight away and has only ever had a handful of accidents.
However
I promptly forgot all this on Friday and by the time bedtime arrived I was a
frazzeled mess and so grateful to put a nappy on CJ. We had wee and poo in the
knickers, on the chair, the sofa and the carpet. Aaarrrrhhhh!!! I had found myself saying ‘Do
you need a wee?’ or ‘Remind mummy when you need a wee’ about every 5 minuets
which just upset CJ and she still wee’d everywhere but the potty!
So
on Saturday morning I wondered if she just wasn’t ready and thought about keeping
her in nappies. But I decided to persevere; I pointed out where the potty was,
with more hope than expectation and then went for a shower. Much to my
surprise, 5 minuets later, CJ walked in, sat on the potty and had a poo. No
fuss, no bother and no reminding. A big kiss and cuddle for her and a light
bulb moment for me. I had forgotten the wise words and I had been going about
it all wrong. I didn’t want to ‘train’ her to use the potty when I told her to,
I wanted her to learn to go when she needed to. I realised I quite literally
had to let her do it in her own time.
So
I gave my controlling side a stern word to give the poor little thing some
space and a reminder of what my role was in the process; To show CJ were the
potty was, gently reminder her if it been a while since went (and I mean an
hour Emma, not 5 minuets), clean up any mess and most importantly congratulate
her when she does well.
And
she has done well, she had only one accident yesterday and today
#veryproudmummy. Yes there will still be accidents and the inevitable ‘I need a
wee’ usually at the most inconvenient moment, like when you’ve just put your
shopping on the checkout or your stuck in town in traffic. But I know I will
just deal with any mess, and maybe have to find a new supermarket to shop in!
So
I feel I can say that potty training has been a success, not just because CJ is
now clean and dry in the day but also because she reminded me that as a mum
sometimes it is important for me to relax and run with it and that positivity
is always better than stress. Well done CJ, you clever thing.
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